NETWORKING: Does it make you want to puke?
When I went to my first networking event, I came home and declared to my husband “I will never be doing that again!”. I felt so out of place and under qualified. It seemed everyone there knew each other and I had no idea what to do or say. I had SO many questions, but quite frankly, felt stupid for asking. This stuffy room with seemingly “successful” business owners was no place for a 25 year old orthodontic assistant who had just started an online business with her husband. I was miserable until I got back to the safety of my car 🫣. Sadly, I didn’t attend another one for another 10 years!
If you’re like tons of other small business owners, the word networking makes you want to puke. The thought of walking into a room full of strangers, handing out business cards, and trying to remember everyone’s names can feel awkward, overwhelming, and downright nauseating.
But here’s the truth: networking doesn’t have to be a cringe-fest. In fact, it can become one of the most powerful tools you use to grow your business, if you redefine what networking means for you.
Why Networking Feels So Awful
What am I doing here?!
“I’ve been in business for 75 years, young lady.”
— Old-white-business-owner-guy
Pressure to Perform. You think you need the perfect pitch, outfit, or elevator speech.
Fear of Rejection. What if no one wants to talk to you, or worse, they think you’re “just playing business”?
Misaligned Expectations. We imagine networking as a numbers game: collect as many cards as possible. That feels fake and exhausting.
Flip the Script: Networking as Human Connection
Instead of focusing on “selling yourself,” think of networking as a chance to connect, share stories, and maybe even make a new friend. The real magic happens when you:
Ask good questions. People light up when you’re genuinely interested. When people tell you what they do, try: “What’s something exciting happening in your business right now?”
Look for collaboration, not customers. A room full of entrepreneurs is full of potential partners and friends, not just prospects.
Play the long game. Networking isn’t about closing a deal on the spot. It’s about planting seeds and building a network of your own that you can call on in the future.
➡️ As Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of Science of People puts it: “Stop thinking about what you need to say, and start looking for the threads you already share.” That shift - from performance to connection - is what makes conversations feel natural.
Try an online networking group to ease the tension
Practical Tips for the Reluctant Networker
Set a micro-goal. Instead of “work the room,” aim for 2–3 real conversations.
Bring a friend. A wing-person can make introductions less intimidating.
Look for someone “like you”. Guaranteed, there is at least ONE other person who doesn’t know anyone. Look for someone standing alone or in a group of 2 (hint, they’re usually hanging out by the entrance or the food table 😉), you don’t have to insert yourself into a circle of 10.
Practice in small doses. Start at a local coffee meetup or small chamber gathering before you jump into giant conferences.
Practice micro doses. If you don’t feel comfortable meeting in-person just yet, look for groups that have virtual events. These can be a great starting point for the reluctant entrepreneur.
💡 Vanessa also suggests swapping stale small talk (“What do you do?”) for a spark question like:
“What are you working on that excites you right now?”
“Did you do anything fun this summer?”
You’ll be amazed at how much more engaging the conversation becomes.
The Bottom Line
If networking makes you want to puke, you’re not alone. But with a mindset shift and a few practical tools, it can transform from something you dread into something you actually look forward to. Remember, you belong there just as much as anybody else. You have a real business, no matter how small or new. Make it about finding your people.
COMING SOON: the hub, north community 💫
As always, The Hub, North’s got your back. I’m building an online community for small business owners and entrepreneurs, just like you. We’ll be able to ask questions, make connections, hold online networking events and get down to business in a judgement-free, supportive business community! Old white guys in suits are welcome, but if they make that frowny-face, they’re out. Stay tuned…